월요일, 5월 24, 2004
the afternoon after *ahem* the paper was made of nothing much, and that's the best thing about it. right now, i can safely say that -- it's over. the nightmare is well and truly over. stop the presses though, it will be another two weeks till results come out and the whole vicious cycle starts all over again, but that's a hurdle to be crossed when the time comes. (in two weeks time)

i didn't get the kick that i hoped for...? was expecting to be whooping with joy once my paper was collected, but somehow all i managed was to blow at my fringe and think: thank God it's over. to be quite frank, there's a lot that i need to thank God about, the main one being that the exam period passed rather smoothly for me. (results are another matter) but somehow the elation at being let loose from the shackles of the gymnasium at maidencastle didn't seem to hold as much as it would have been a mere two years ago.

i think that's what they call growing up.

it's unfortunate how jaded we've become, inevitably in one way or another, but that's life for you all the same. some days i'm scared at the thought that i'll have to let go of my emotions one by one as they gradually get shaved off my soul, but i guess that's something that only time will tell. for now, there's only luxuriating in the fact that i can enjoy the sun without thinking that i'm only on a study break.

figured how much i'm going to miss the library when all this is over. the past few weeks we've stayed there from the time it opened to the time it closed. even the books looked familiar. i'm going to miss the ronald mcdonald, and all his funny staring ways -- especially when he found out (i think) after about a week, that maybe we were laughing at him and his inexplicable countenance that defies comprehension. i'm going to miss being in the silent room and having the peanutheads, nigel, hayley and tara just round the corner. it feels strange, and i never thought that i'd feel it, but -- i wish i were there now.

that's just being silly. what i'm going to do is have what they call an early night, something that i haven't had for weeks. when i wake, it will be a new day, and the world may not have changed, but it will be the start of a whole new experience.

quote of the week: "be my walentine, ed said, giving red boots meaning."