월요일, 5월 31, 2004
so, once again i end up typing in english.

for some reason the past few days have been totally caught up with me returning to my chinese roots, with a smattering of japanese here and there. it's been quite a long time since anything like this happened, with results that are a bit cringe-worthy at this point of time in my life, and now it's more or less the same, only different.

i genuinely enjoy the mando and j-pop that are put on repeat play on my laptop, for its musicality and the way in which it's so different from the hard-edged music in the mainstream, english-speaking world. at a time like this, i'm proud to be who i am.

a few days ago i managed to dig out a satin chinese top that i own and wore it out to the library. for some strange reason, people treat you differently when you go all ethnic on them. to hit the bottom line, i felt like i was being treated like i couldn't speak english. people actually interjected my sentences before i had the chance to finish them, and the look on their faces almost always said "you poor little soul just off a slow boat from china."

please.

this whole thing about discrimination, i wish i didn't have to say it's true, but i'm afraid it is very much alive, at least in this part of the world. maybe it's psychological, but quite frankly i don't really care about all that. what i don't like is people going that extra step to treat people who dress differently -- differently. just because not all of us dress like rahs doesn't mean that we can't all speak english. quite a frustrating thought when you think about it. in fact, just because some of us like to dress in clothes with frog buttons sometimes and have single eyelids, fringes and black hair doesn't mean that those people are incapable of comprehending english at all unless you SPEAK. LIKE. THIS.

now don't get me started on the accents.