금요일, 10월 08, 2004
these days the air smells brown. i smell the autumn that permeates the leaves, the rooms, even the bread on our table. the air has turned colder, crisper, and it crackles with anticipation when i wake up in the morning.

i walk down the street with my collar turned up, hands in the pockets of my jeans, and watch as the wind shifts the fallen leaves on the grey pavement. the worries that cloud my brow seem soggy, as paper limbers up for an oncoming rainshower, and sink towards the bottom of my mind to coagulate silently, biding their time and piling higher as time goes by.

to take out the trash in my head and shove it all in the bin is difficult. i have to sift through and seive out the good from the worthless. no sooner have i sorted it out does the wind blow from somewhere other than here and turn all my hard work into a messy pile again.

today i saw a rainbow, beautifully defined and cutting through the gloom of the fall morning, set against a blue sky, only just skimming the treetops. i was walking down the short cut from mary's towards prebends and saw it, with the turrets of the cathedral nestling in the bottom right of the whole scene. it's amazing how i now see things in pictures. i suppose people would say that it's an eye for the camera, but nah, anyone would have seen the postcardiness of that particular moment in time.

i wish i had brought my camera with me.