화요일, 12월 21, 2004
there seems to be a certain calmness in the place where i live. the breeze seems to run its fingers through the leaves of the trees during the day and whispers its balmy words in my ear at night. for some reason it feels like a world away from the hustle and bustle of the city that never sleeps, and gives me a chance to sit at the window in the hall and look out over the horizon and try to make out the scenery that lurks beyond the soupy cloud cover that obscures some of the tallest buildings from sight.

there are too many things that defy description, and too many memories that i have already come to hold dear in the short time that my spirit has come to rest itself here. yet my soul is at peace because once again, i am home. not physically, but i have come home to be with the family i hold dear, no matter where in the world they may be.

the squishy panda looks back at me with puppy-dog eyes as i sit at my brother's computer typing these words. i reach over and give it a pat on the head, sneaking a peek at the clock, noting that in slightly less than an hour and a half, i'll accompany my mom to the supermarket in preparation for dinner tonight. all this brings me back to a time when the palm trees swayed softly in the tropical breeze, and the chiku tree in my back garden yielded sweet, sweet fruit that was eaten in the shade of its spreading branches - i still remember those days when i whiled the days away, tagging along at my mother's side and watching her do the same things that she does today, only that some time has passed in between. i wish i could go back to that time, when i still had my ducky pillow, and try to bridge the gap to recognise the person i have become today.

the clarity of the morning gives sense for reflection, and as i feel the hot tea rush down my gullet, my brain wakes up and i stretch my limbs in an attempt to accomodate the new slew of thoughts that pervade my consciousness.

another look at the clock tells me that some ten minutes have passed with me sitting at the computer, trying my hardest to put feelings into words. i cannot. there are bigger things to be done in the next twenty-four hours that i have holding in my hands.