화요일, 1월 04, 2005
the first blog post of the new year.

the whole tsunami thing has been splashed across the tabloids and broadsheets alike, and for some reason i can't help but feel a little jaded about the whole affair. my heart aches for the suffering and somewhere deep down inside my soul questions why God, why did something like that have to happen? as i read page after page of the tragic reports.

then at the same time i realise that i am in no position to question God. there must be a reason behind all this. it hearkens back to the time of another great flood, when everything was washed away. maybe something in what my mother says makes sense: maybe all that debauchery displeased Him.

the God who governs us all is a jealous God. nothing of this world can come before Him. too often, too many people have taken Him and His mercies for granted. too many times have idols been worshipped where God rightfully deserved the glory. the catastrophe must have torn apart so many families, and shattered so many lives, but what is all our earthly mortal pain compared to the grief the Lord feels. like a parent punishing an errant child, it breaks a parent's heart to see their own flesh and blood suffer pain at their own hands, yet it is discipline which is sometimes necessary in order that we, as children of God, may grow.

there is no apparent reason as to why a disaster of such epic proportions occurred. there is no one to shift the blame to, and too many broken hearts that cannot be mended. it was right to say that asia spent new year's in mourning, mourning for her lost children, her ravaged landscape. the death of innocence and complacency.

i sound petrarchan in my quiet seriousness, yet those thoughts are mine, my own that i wish to purge from my system. the endless reports and continuous assailing of my senses with the outward cries of a continent brought to its knees with its people crying to the heavens for an explanation build up, build up within my soul and cause me to stare out of my window and reflect on the fragility of life and other cliches that have come to be reiterated and hang in the air like cobwebs. they taint my vision and depress the spirit, taking the control of our lives on this mortal coil out of our hands and into the deep womb of the earth.

all life ends, no man is above God. maybe it's time to cast aside the mantle of complacency and start living life with some humility.