목요일, 2월 10, 2005
"she just always underestimates what a wonderful person she is."

the number of times i've heard that phrase in the past few days is bordering on the obscene. for some reason everyone i know seems to think that every other person and their dog is a wonderful person who underestimates herself, yet at the same time refuses to agree that the same statement applies just as well to themselves. very frustrating when you can't even tell someone that what she's wearing looks nice without getting told no, no, actually i look shite.

what's this about not being able to take compliments?! just keep quiet, refuse the urge to retort something about you not being worthy of it and accept the wretched sentence already!

i was brought up in a family where people told others what they thought of them quite freely, therefore my life has seen some very extreme ups and downs as i tried to readjust myself to the norms in society i.e. trying to curb my urges to say the right thing at the right time. it's just a little frustrating when it is the right time to say the right thing, but your efforts fall on barren ground because the recipient refuses to accept. yet at the same time they can go around telling everyone how nice they look/how wonderful they are/how perfect their hair is/whatever. it's one thing about being politically correct and another about being genuine. to be honest the lines between the two are getting increasingly blurred following all this endless chicanery.

as much as i love the people in question, the fact of the matter remains that life is made increasingly difficult the longer this problem pierces the thin membrane of our friendship. like the magical sitar in moulin rouge, i only speak the truth, and no, for pete's sake i'm not an alcoholic dwarf, but i won't say something nice with the intent of deliberately hurting anyone. bump me on the head enough times when i pay a compliment or state facts, and soon enough i won't say anything nice anymore.