금요일, 3월 25, 2005
ok guys, look. wearing dodgy trousers that have been cut off at calf-length does not, i repeat, does not make any one of you look nice. in fact, some people have taken to affectionately calling them the 'manpri' (read: capri pants for men), an article of clothing so heinous they have the propensity to make baby jesus cry (surprise easter/good friday reference there).

by and large they look like cargo pants that have been well, cut off, and many who wear them like to think that they are tres useful for rock climbing and such (don't believe me, go to www.curiousgeorge.com, and look a bit like this:

now let's talk. the above person is a model: a certified fashion stuntman who can carry off these things because he is paid to do so. it is his job. you, the average man, however, do not have such a job. 'nuff said.

notice how the capri pants look was such a big one on the catwalks a couple of years ago? well, never ones to let a good trend get away, the lovely folks in the fashion industry have decided that they ought to cash in on the whole enterprise and make said item of clothing a unisex one to maximise capital. hence, the birth of the feminine masculine manpri:

a true case of "oh, my eyes" here.

and look! big-name sports brand adidas have jumped on the bandwagon too, and come up with their very own take on the manpri:

no no no and no. seriously, there are no words for this kind of behaviour. do they not realise that wearing such an item of clothing will only send you straight down to chavsville? and in a dodgy clingy fabric too, which will only emphasise all lumps and bumps which yes, even men have trouble facing up to.

and of course, who could forget the goth community? even their men need to give their dainty ankles an airing once in a while:

complete with all accompanying hardware in case you need to sacrifice a bunny rabbit on the way. just so you won't be caught out, you know.

and since celebs are wearing them too, it must be right. right?

the style icon that is kevin federline, just in case you didn't know.


the bottom line is, capris in general were never a good trend to start with. they don't even work for women, incidentally, unless of course, you are a very specific kind of person. this model, as you can see, is not that person. note how screen-printed images on stretchy fabric are the very epitome of style, glamour and class:

one phrase: just say no.

in conclusion, all i can say is that the only form of trouser cut-offs that men can wear without looking like dappy homosexuals is the skater manpri a.k.a. the skater short/bermuda, worn by wannabe skater punks worldwide. two prime examples of how the skater manpri look can work for you, as modelled by james and matty jay from busted, which is, alas, no more:

and no words for you, charlie simpson.

any questions/comments? (anyone want another handout?) send them away on a postcard to the usual address.