금요일, 5월 13, 2005
for some strange reason i still feel unmotivated to study. even when the exams are next tuesday and today is friday. all i can think about is going home and a long, hot, sunny summer. what irks me is the fact that i have to get through these exams first before i can enjoy said happiness, but alas, ce'st la vie.

alright, given that for the past few nights we've been revising hardcore in the library till the wee hours of the morning, but still i can't find the confidence in me to actually face those papers. all i want to do is look at the notes and wish hard that somehow the information will travel by osmosis or something through to my brain cells, but the brain cells are being particularly unresponsive at the moment.

where are my neurons? and those synapses need work i think.

all i can do is sit here and reflect and hope and pray that my exams go well. everytime, every single year i never fail to become a nervous wreck during exam time, invoking all the strength within me to carry me through these desperate times. as much as i hope, at the back of my mind, that i'll be able to pull through, there always remains a part of me, no matter how hard i study, still struggling with the concepts and theories, afraid that i'll forget them and be left high and dry in the vast exam hall, among a sea of ink and paper.

i dream in technicolour. even now i still dream about my 'a' level results.

somehow i don't think i'll ever be able to get used to exam stress.