화요일, 7월 05, 2005
the past week has been absolutely wonderful. putting up at the Boy's place and basically sharing breathing space with him (and family) practically 24/7 felt like a daunting task at the start, but now i finally realise that the best way to feel like you're welcome is to be yourself.

Boy and i had the talk before: that it was way too early in our relationship to consider moving in together, but somehow things just managed to work themselves out. after bracing myself for spats with his mom and fights in the kitchen, i eventually was to find out that all that worrying was totally uncalled for. the sheer red faced-ness of having it proclaimed to all and sundry at sunday lunch that i am part of the family hasn't exactly worn off yet (my cheeks are still burning a bit), but the beginnings of a warmth that i haven't had the chance to experience within a close physical proximity for a long time have started to stir. having been half a world away from my own flesh and blood family for nigh on half a year now makes the familial gestures Boy's family have extended thus graciously towards me remind me of what it's like to have family close by.

you know, sometimes i wonder whether i've done the right thing in deciding to live life away from home. i've done quite a bit of growing up in the past two years, for the better i hope, but at the end of the day i'm the same person - just tweaked here and there i.e. equipped with essential life skills such as quick math when it comes to doing the weekly shop/tidying my room up periodically because living in one's own filth is so not cool/general maintenence of house and spirit. never would i have learnt all this by myself if i were still lounging around on the couch at home, trying to coax my younger brother into getting me another lemonade. okay, metaphor, but it still works.

the thing is, the self-imposed casting off of the protective mantle that family enshrouds you in was actually good for me re: personal growth. perhaps there comes a time when one has to leave the nest to make good of oneself, of course by no means forgetting those who have contributed towards the attainment of what has been achieved thus far.

but i digress. back to Boy and staying at his. many a time i've bumped my head on the wooden lintel that juts out from the slanty bit of his roof, (yes, all 5 feet of me) and sharing living and walking space with Boy's thousands of records isn't the most glamorous of jobs but hey, someone's gotta do it but i have gotten to know the people who share Boy's life, the kittens greet me and rub their fluffy heads against my leg when they see me, and i get to spend my time with the one person who makes me laugh, cry, love, live and learn. really, i couldn't ask for anything more beautiful.