don't stop the music
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don't stop the music*
Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece. ~ Filipenses 4:13, Nueva Version Internacional

금요일, 12월 02, 2005
oh britney, is there anything you haven't done?

you've done the whole innocent teenager thing...
and the scary overnight boob growth and "look ma! no bra!" stage...

you've gotten lost in the woods, using only lacy curtains for coverage...

Good Lord, you were even 'going steady' with Justin Timberlake, the heart-throb of the early Millennium.


you have, on more than one occasion, chosen to leave your clothes at home when away on a magazine shoot, although why you decided to let your womanly parts be seen to all and sundry is beyond me...



...and then you have fiercely battled your kitchen meat-shredding devices and emerged victorious...



...and still then you have dressed like dennis the menacing drag queen -- on drugs:


then, in a chilling turn of events, you performed live on-stage - in a wedding dress that looked like the wedding guests had gotten a little too racous in trying to get that darn garter off...
... and you repeated the whole process in korea, but assured everyone it was a publicity stunt...


then you realised you'd created a monster here, and got married in jeans and no makeup to some randomer. in vegas.


just when everyone started to weep for the youth of today, you pulled one out of a hat and got married for reals to another randomer, only this time it wasn't in vegas and you had to pay for the wedding yourself and after all that, you couldn't even convince the bridegroom to have a shave;


then you adopted some bug sunglasses from the SPCA, forgot what shampoo was for and schlumped around smoking fags all day. p/s: honey, they said that being in love means you forget yourself, not forget what you look like...


and STILL, you managed to make the circle of evil complete by getting knocked up and running around town in no bra, tie-dye and cowboy boots, which is an unholy marriage in any circumstance, showing off your working uterus and milk-producing boobies.


best thing is, recently you popped the baba and are currently preparing to give him his first christmas present:


Happy Christmas Baby Federline! You are going to have lots and lots of pictures of you and your Mommy and Daddy and your other brothers and sisters which your Daddy had with Another Woman and left her for your Mommy when she was pregnant with Daddy's foetus but your Mommy doesn't mind because now they have you and your Mommy doesn't need to pretend she likes those other children anymore because your Mommy has you and your Mommy is going to give you the biggestest, bestest Christmas pressie-wessie ever because You, and only You are going to be THE BABY JESUS!!

(taken from www.thesuperficial.com:)

"November 30, 2005: Britney's Baby is Jesus

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, pausing in their efforts to fill their swimming pool with beef jerky, have transformed their son Sean Preston's bedroom into the nativity setting for his first Christmas. The gaudy decorations include six waxwork models and several life-size toy donkeys and cattle. Britney is so excited that she even bought a cherrywood style manger for her baby. A source close to Britney said, "It cost an absolute fortune. But at least she didn't have to buy a baby Jesus - because Sean is playing the part."

Considering that any baby's Christmas list consists entirely of 1) food, 2) warmth, and 3) crapping everywhere, blowing thousands of dollars on worthless Christmas decorations seems kinda dumb. Britney could tape a cardboard box to his head and he'd be just as happy. Hell, Britney could tape a cardboard box to her own head and be just as happy. And if, instead of taping cardboard to her head, she taped herself to the underside of a bus, then I'd be just as happy. And then I'd cross off items 1 through 75 on my Christmas list."

goodness knows what kind of stigma that kid is going to grow up with. so long as i don't see any newspaper headlines along the lines of "SEAN PRESTON FEDERLINE: THE SECOND COMING?" or "BABY SPEARS TURNS WATER INTO WINE", and i think i'll have to count my blessings. with my fingers crossed.

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