토요일, 5월 27, 2006
hello again!! first things first, i've got to say:



p/s: these pictures were cross-posted to my lj, but i'm still getting used to making lengthy posts there. plus, the sheer luxury of the lj cut makes life that much easier :)











there, all done! hehe... but for now, the time of the louting has officially started. oddly enough, after 2 weeks of waking up at the crack a'dawn to revise, my body clock has been thrown all out of whack and despite wanting to sleep in today - yup, you guessed it - i woke up 7.30. this was after having gone to bed at 3.30 in the morning the night/morning before. yep. i am tired. and eyebags that would qualify me for the panda reservation.

sheesh. murphy's law eh?

meantime, yesterday after my exam kris came to pick me up and we ambled into town to get some lunch at the city pub. friday afternoon was spent catching up on some much needed zzz's, and the nighttime involved some crazy lightstick selling at planet. i almost got trampled by the rampaging hordes screaming to be let in at the start of the night. it's times like this i wonder what life would be like if i were a little taller...

today's agenda: i haven't really decided, but i think that generally being a bum will have to suffice for today. i know that i'll procrastinate and dither and before i know it, it'll be graduation and there will be no more time left. but hey, everyone's gotta learn. some people like me just learn the hard way.

speaking of graduation, i just received the pack from college the other day detailing the nitty-gritty (i.e. costs) of graduation. 29 squid to rent a graduation gown?! ikes. i've rebranded it 'the last cash-in', in appreciation of the fact that as if uni hasn't eaten up some 20+K in GBP of my family's assets already, now they want more. but on the other hand, i figure it's one of the milestones in one's life, graduation. for some reason the notion of being a graduand has been drummed into every child at a young age back in the 'pore - kids going to primary school get a cardboard roll and mortar board in a 'kindergarten graduation picture', leaving them branded with the idea that graduation, m'dears, is mucho importante. the paper race has got us all in a tizzy.

although that said, i've been sucked into the system as well. there have been times when i wondered whether i actually wanted to come to uni, or society made me think that i wanted to come to uni, if that makes any sense. it's a bit of a catch-22 situation, but at the end of the day, i guess what's most important is being happy. i'm not in the position to judge whether i'm a creature of society, or that i've demarcated my own rules, but at the same time i can't imagine what my life would be like if i hadn't gone to uni. there are so many 'what if's in my life, and i realised some time ago that living with regrets is the most crushing thing a person could live with. i don't know how to stop regrets, because you don't know what they are until you actually have them, but now i concentrate on being happy. or rather, what i think will make me happy.

all in all, i'm looking forward to graduating. it'll be the end of one chapter in all our lives, and the start of a new one. i'll have done my parents proud (i think), and achieved what i came here to achieve. that, and the fact that i've come here and gotten so much more in return. i really am thankful for having the opportunity to have an overseas educational experience - it broadened my mind and made me conscious to other things that exist outside the home bubble. i'd never thought of moving out before this, but being thousands of miles away from your family makes you realise that it's a true fact of life, and indeed, a natural progression.

life is about moving forward, and i hope that my graduation in a month's time will help me get a good grip on the times that are to come. i hope that it will make me see and recognise the achievements that i've made, which are commendable in any sense, and no matter what grade i get, i have to realise that there's more to life than that. seeing friends who come to uni at their parent's wishes, or who are in it purely for the money has made me understand that my life is my own, and i should make my own decisions. otherwise that will be the start of a lifetime of regret.