월요일, 5월 01, 2006
you know what? if i didn't care, i wouldn't have involved myself in this whole thing. it's not fair to drop something like that on me like a bolt out of the blue, and neither is fair to yell and yell and yell for 20 minutes without telling me what the matter is.

i knew this would happen. i knew you would make it up and then turn around and tell me what i an ungrateful person i am for sticking my nose in, when just a few hours ago you were all clamouring to tell your story. i knew that you would call me and expect everything to be alright. well let me tell you that it's not. you hurt me, and you expect me to take it like nothing's happened. this is such a crucial stage, but it's ok to drop a bombshell in a fit of anger because the fact that it's exam period doesn't matter.

don't make me jaded, i beg of you. i'm trying very hard not to slip down that slope.

quite frankly, i don't need this right now. i don't need to be talked down to, i don't need any unecessary worry. if you didn't want my opinion, then you shouldn't have called me in the first place.

don't say things you don't mean just because you're angry. life is not a case of keeping score. as i said, everybody's human, some more human than others. sure, you're hurting, but what gives you the right to hurt others so that your hurt can be purged? i didn't deserve what was said to me. all i wanted to do was find out what happened and try to help solve things. obviously that was the wrong move because sometimes people don't want to be helped, or the only way they can be helped is to help themselves.

you pick on things that are totally unrelated to the topic proper and foist them on me, pinning more and more imaginary blame. it's become a game of cluedo that everyone seems to lose. i've become guilty of allegations that i'm not even guilty of, which i didn't even know about.

if you are annoyed, then tell them. if you think that you're being repressed, then tell them. i'm no saint, but i know that things are better resolved than bottled up. don't take it out on everyone else, including yourself. and don't say you'll be alright, when you won't. you'll just hide it inside you and wait for the next episode.

and don't tell me that this is all my fault. the only thing i'm guilty of is caring too much.

你们不妨自己检讨检讨吧。